February 2018 Ipsy Bag

The premise: You give ipsy $10 a month. They send you a somewhat curated bag of makeup. I paid for a year up front and either a) the service is complete trash, or b) they figured they already had my money for a year and they are sending me the stuff no one else wants.

Oh boy, we have some shit to unpack here.

First, this month’s theme is “unzipped”. Because body positivity = about sex. Also body positivity is for EVERYONE that is conventionally attractive and not lumpy. There’s an article titled “Self-Love Starts Here: See Why *Everyone* (Including You) Deserves to Feel Sexy”. I can’t be bothered to click on it, but I feel like they’re negging me. EVEN I DESERVE TO FEEL SEXY.

Let’s see how they’re going to make me feel sexy this month.

What’s in my bag

My only complaint about the bag (other than I would never use it) is that it is described as “blushing pink”. Gross. I am pink with rage or not pink at all.

I traded in points for the eye mask. That will get judged separately later, because it was a choice that I made, rather than something ipsy subjected me to.

Swatches from top to bottom: Seraphine blush, Marsk shadow straight, Marsk shadow applied wet. Left photo is my ungodly bright bathroom. Right is with flash.

SERAPHINE BOTANICALS Lychee + Gold

I actually love peach blushes. I’m so pale that more true pinks make me look like I’m dying of heat stroke. Even this one is a bit much. I am a ghost. Solid job, though, ipsy.

Purchase or pass: It’s $14 and doesn’t have any weird ingredients aside from random fruit extracts. The only reason I’m hesitant is that all of the products say that they’re specially formulated to flatter all skin tones, but the half-assed clicking I did only revealed swatches on a girl as pale as me.

SAND & SKY Brilliant Skin Pink Clay Mask
I am 100% sure that ipsy reads my blog and is trolling me after I yelled about rubbing sand on my face last month. I’ll concede that I think clay masks are okay if you otherwise moisturize your skin well, so I’ll give this a try. Edit: Full review here.

Purchase or pass: A jar of this is $50 and the website looks like a millennial marketing scam.

MARSK Loose Eyeshadow in Foiled Again
This is much better than the last metallic eye shadow they sent me! I wore it (with primer) and it stayed all day without creasing or shedding too much glitter. I haven’t tried a wet application yet.

Purchase or pass: I will never need to wear this much glitter.

BLAQ Meteor Shower
This is the most distressing thing that ipsy has ever sent me. We don’t have the space (lol) here. You will hear about this later. Edit: Full review here.

Purchase or pass: Most. Distressing. Thing.

LUXIE BEAUTY Blending and Shading Eye Brush 249
It’s a brush. Neat.

Purchase or pass: I already own this.

If they had sent anything other than the meteors that I am supposed to throw away, I think I’d be okay with this bag. Weird.

Tell me the most traumatizing thing that ipsy has ever sent you in the comments.

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