The Chok Chok Green Tea Watery Mask Sheet by Tonymoly

This sheet mask makes me bummed that I’m quitting sheet masks.

A spoiler, I guess. Sometimes I have to put nice things on my face, okay? I can’t just squirt lemon juice and baking soda all over my skin and then go sit in the sun every day.
(Don’t do that. Get off Pinterest. Your skin thanks you.)

My friend in South Korea sent me that good Tonymoly shit! And it’s good. So good that I’m letting the weird little blurb about tea being cultivated throughout four seasons slide (kind of). Tea plants don’t like winter.

I, too, thought that I would tone down the science snark when I left my research job. It turns out that it just means that I have more energy at home to look into random plant biology.

I, uh, still don’t read Korean. Who knows what claims they’re making on the packaging. Let’s rip this bad boy open.

It smells so good. I want my entire skincare routine to smell like this product. The scent is all of the nice parts of green tea without the bitterness. Maybe a little lemon, too. I want to cover my body in it.

The mask material is solid. It’s one of the thick ones that feel like cloth. Maybe it is? It’s not one of the ones that are super flimsy and dry immediately. You can hang out with this one for a while.

My face felt moisturized after using this mask, but wasn’t greasy or sticky. I’m into it. My friend is an angel and sent me multiples, so I can confirm that nothing bad happens with repeated use. It’s straight up nice.

I’m also quitting sheet masks. They create more waste than I’m comfortable with. I don’t need a foil packet and a cloth/paper face cover for half an hour of use. I don’t believe that they’re any more effective than a traditional mask or lotion, so I’ll be switching over to those.

I was hoping that I could just transfer my love of this product over to the rest of Tonymoly’s green tea line, but after a quick glance it looks like everything contains microplastics. Boo.

I’ll be scouring the internet for a green tea mask that smells similarly. Do you have any suggestions?

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Valjean Labs Facial Mist in Clarify

The beauty aisle at TJ Maxx got me. TJ Maxx is such a dangerous place. You can get amazing deals, but you’ll never be able to repurchase the products ever again. This is where brands go to die. I was just going to go in for a silly mask as a treat, but I came out with this replacement for the witch hazel toner that I had run out of.

It’s not strictly marketed as a toner, but it has witch hazel. I figured I could use it for the same purpose. I didn’t realize at the time that vitamin A is retinol so it might not be great for morning use. Wear your sunscreen and don’t impulse buy, kids.

The instructions seem super weird to me knowing that vitamin A is retinol. Use it to balance oil production? Spray it over your makeup? No. Don’t do that. Use it at night and wear sunscreen the next day because it sensitizes your skin.

Having said that, I love it. It has a light, generic smell that I’m a fan of. I get a sweet glow in my skin from using it regularly. Bare skin photo below for evidence:

I also really love that it’s a spray. Misting your face is surprisingly soothing.

So I’m going to buy this again and live the glow life forever now, right? Well, no. I think this spray is only sold at Urban Outfitters. We’re overdue for another Urban Outfitters controversy so I’m preemptively not a fan.

And then there are the ingredients. I don’t mind that there’s added color and fragrance. My skin doesn’t get irritated easily, so it’s just silly that the extra ingredients are there instead of harmful. Instead, I’m bummed that the second ingredient is glycereth-26. Also known as polyethylene glycol 26. You might recognize the word polyethylene from microbeads. If not, let me point you in the direction of my handy microplastic reference sheet.

Yep. The second ingredient is plastic. So the product isn’t tested on animals, it’s just terrible for anything that comes in contact with the ocean. Cool.

I’m going to finish using it and then banish it from my memory.
You bet that I’m putting my next toner into a spray bottle, though.

 

Meg Cosmetics Good Night PM Mask

Ipsy sent me this sheet mask in March. I used to think that you couldn’t mess up a sheet mask, but they’ve proven me wrong in the past. Let’s take a look at the claims and packaging first.

There is 27 mL of serum in this mask. I’m not sure if that’s comparatively a lot because that’s not a number I’ve paid attention to in the past, but this mask is JUICY. Like be careful opening it, juicy. I nearly shot some in my eye.

The ingredients

• Eco-friendly lyocell sheet certified by OEKO-TEX
  I did some googling, and as best as I can tell, this certification just means that there weren’t crazy chemicals used in the production process. I was hoping for the sheet to be extra biodegradable or to use less water in the production process, but nah. It’s just a regular woodpulp fabric. I assumed that they’re Standard 100 certified instead of Made In Green. The Made In Green certification is supposed to give me a tracking code with my product that lets me look into the production process. There isn’t one. I’d be into that.
• Camellia sinesis leaf water
  It’s tea. It’s just tea. Can you imagine being this pretentious?

The other ingredients are pretty normal: some botanical extracts, some typical skin stuff. I did learn that people use arginine for erectile dysfunction. So that’s now in my brain forever.

• Glucose
  This is normal for skincare, I’m just mad there’s not more of it in the mask because I got some in my mouth. It tastes AWFUL.

How did I get it in my mouth, you ask? This is the worst fitting mask I have ever used.

Just LOOK at how tiny the mouth hole is. It’s really hard to not accidentally eat some of the serum.

As far as the serum formulation, it was a pretty okay mask. I would have preferred that it didn’t smell like lavender, but my skin felt hydrated after I used it. The packaging and actual sheet are just awful, though.

I’m also really cranky that they want to tout an eco-friendly process when there’s an entire extra plastic sheet in there.

I’ll just throw that directly into the ocean.

We can do better than this.

Beyond Intensive Ampoule Hyaluronic Acid

It’s time for another sheet mask from my friend in South Korea! And in her defense, she warned me about this one. She told me it was too much and doesn’t absorb well for her, so it might not for me. Did I listen? Nope. I don’t have anywhere to go tonight. I can be a slug.

I couldn’t find this sheet mask anywhere. I think it might be marketed differently depending on where it is sold. Beauty Box Korea has it minus the word “eco”, but they left the typo in “friendly”.

I particularly love that the mask is made to fit skin and is skin friendly. Bare minimum requirements, there.

The instructions tell you to remove a liner that doesn’t exist, and also point out that this mask is made by LG. You know, like the phones.

What you’re really here for are the unflattering pictures of me wearing it, though. I know.

 

The mask itself is thin and super saturated. Both of those things are pluses for me. It’s large, but the thin fabric easily wrinkles to form to your face. It didn’t slide around for me. It did smell heavily perfumed, which wasn’t the most fun, but I got used to it.

And now that sweet, sweet k-glow.

I mean, almost. Mostly I’m sticky. I’m sticky an hour later with my moisturizer on over it. I’ll still be a little tacky in the morning.

It was fun, but not something that I’m going to buy.

The Ordinary Granactive 2% Retinoid Emulsion Review

Are you guys ready for the only thing that I’ve liked from The Ordinary so far? ( To refresh your memory, I haven’t been a huge fan of their Glycolic Acid or Caffeine Solution.)

You’ve read the title, so you know that we’re talking about their retinoid today.

 

Retinols/retinoids are typically used for anti-aging and acne. I don’t have much trouble with acne, so I’m using this product for it’s anti-aging benefits. Real talk: it’s basically impossible to evaluate how well an anti-aging product is working for me personally. I’m in my 20s. Maybe I’ll look like an unwrinkled toddler when I’m 70. It could be because I used this for 50 years, or my genetics. We’ll never know.

Having said that, I like this product. My skin has become so much softer since I’ve started using it. It’s easy to use, not sticky, and absorbs well. There was a very short adjustment period where I noticed the smallest clogged pores as my skin adjusted, but no crazy “purge” or irritation. I’m also a huge fan of The Ordinary reminding people to use sun protection when they use this. Do you know why my skin feels so soft since using a retinoid? It’s because I’m dissolving the top layer off of it. Wear your sunscreen.

I do have one complaint.

 

It’s runny and just ever so slightly yellow tinged, which means it looks exactly like pus to me. There’s a faint yeast smell to it. I had trouble identifying the smell until I found a pizza that smelled just like it. The yeast smell could mean that there’s some GMO technology at work here. I’m fine with GMOs. Or my nose is off. We’ll never know.

30 mL for $10 is great, so I’m planning on repurchasing when I run out. Maybe the color or consistency will be better by then. I wrote this a little while ago. Until The Ordinary gets themselves sorted out, I’m in the market for a new retinoid. Do you have any suggestions?

 

DearPacker Gold Collagen Eye Patch

Shoutout to my friend Ebony for sending me a bunch of Korean skincare goodies! Friends don’t let friends suffer through ipsy skincare alone.

Today we’re getting up close and personal with my eye bags. I can hear my mom shouting that it’s my ALLERGIES and I am PERFECT. It’s not allergies, it’s just my face. I’ll let her say that I’m perfect, because moms.

I always have eye bags. Nothing short of a professional is going to get rid of them. I use creams. I hydrate. I mostly get enough sleep. I don’t expect these patches to do much. They’re cool, though. Both in style and temperature.

They’re translucent, shiny, and a neat jelly texture. I’m not sure what claims they’re making, or what magic ingredients they have, because I don’t read Korean. I do know that collagen is too large to be absorbed through your skin. So that’s not doing anything.

The more you know.

For the sake of science, I tried these on a day that I didn’t sleep well after doing two 12 hour days at work. There’s some room for improvement on my face.

And after 40 minutes:

I think that I have less redness under my eyes. The area around my eye bags might be more plump from the hydration, which reduces the appearance of the bags a little.

I still need concealer, but it did something tangible! Is there a gif for that? I feel like there should be a gif for products I try that actually do things.

I should exclusively start using products with packaging I can’t read. This is the least complaining I’ve ever done.

Stay tuned for an excessive amount of Korean sheet mask reviews!

BLAQ Meteor Shower

Ooh, boy. (And hi Baker!) Remember in February when I said that this was the most distressing thing that ipsy had sent me?

I like outer space. A lot. I’ve cried in the DC museum twice. I can name whoever is speaking on NASA TV at pretty much any time. I’ve been caught timing my runs so that I can stop and wave at the ISS as it passes overhead.

I don’t like that I can be given a one time use meteorite that I am expected to wash down the drain.

I have part of a meteorite in a necklace. A lot of them land in Africa and are then sold. Ultimately they’re dirt, so I understand that this scrub is just a gimmick. Meteorites aren’t bad for your skin, I guess. We aren’t robbing them from museums. The ones being sold to be made into scrubs aren’t scientifically interesting. There’s no real reason why this is so upsetting to me other than I really value outer space, so treating it like it’s disposable hurts my soul. I wasn’t going to use it at all. I was just going to rant here.

Then I got this email:

Ipsy sent out a product so bad that they had to send an email explaining how to wash it off! You bet I’m using it now.

I decided to rub down one of my legs. I figured if it was nice, awesome. I have some ingrown hairs and could use some exfoliation. If I stain my leg black..pants are an easy way to avoid questions.

It wasn’t very pleasant to rub on. It has a weird earthy smell that I’m not into, and the texture is hard to spread. I like a higher oil content in my scrubs. It also felt pretty harsh. My go to scrub is some white sugar dumped in whatever oil I have in the kitchen.

Buying scrubs is kind of dumb. Yeah, it’s fun as a luxury item. You guys know you can make your own really easily, right? Okay. Good.

Anyway. I decided to follow the manufacturer’s instructions and just rinse it off.

I was still gray and patchy. Okay, so using a loofah should scrape it off, right?

That mostly got it. The irritation (that probably only I can see) is from shaving a few days ago, not the scrub. I look slightly gray tinged and dirty, instead of incandescent and shimmering.

Are we surprised? I’m throwing the rest of it out.

Did anyone else try it? I heard that some people had issues with irritation and allergic reactions, so be careful if you do.

Sand & Sky Brilliant Skin Pink Clay Mask

I received this mask in my February ipsy bag. The first I noticed was that instead of instructions or an ingredients list, there is a Vitamin A warning.

The warning isn’t super useful. I’ll spare you the google rabbit hole: Vitamin A is retinol. Retinol sensitizes your skin to the sun. I would recommend using this mask at night and wearing sunscreen afterwards. There’s a small risk of excessive Vitamin A intake if you’re pregnant. I should not be your main source of advice if you’re pregnant.

The second thing I noticed was that this was the absolute stingiest sample I have ever received. They should have sent a foil packet. This tube contains enough product for one very thin application. One.

It’s not very pink, either. They cut the pink clay with bentonite. That doesn’t sound sexy, but bentonite is made from volcanic ash. Where’s my pastel metal volcano advertising? Missed opportunity.

True to ipsy fashion, this mask burns like a mother as it dries. It didn’t break me out or make my skin red, though. My skin even felt SUPER smooth and soft after. It was nice. It made me forget that this smelled vaguely like a hospital.

So, I looked up purchasing it and —

The website looks like a marketing scam. If you changed all of the pink to yellow, it would be an ebook money grab targeting old people.

Guys. Don’t pay $50 for a product that doesn’t tell you to wear sunscreen with it.

While we’re at it, calm down with the “not tested on animals” hype. Do you know why they don’t test their product on animals? Because everything in it has already been extensively tested on animals. There’s nothing innovative or new going on here. It’s not a commitment to animal welfare. They aren’t testing because they don’t have to and it’s easier to not do it. Everything you use that is “cruelty-free” is built on years of animal testing. That’s a low bar for changing the world. I’ll be impressed when we’re pioneering biodegradable packaging and cutting down on water used in production. If a company isn’t doing that, I don’t care.

I’m mostly just mad that it’s $50. That’s obscene.

What’s the most expensive dirt that you’ve ever rubbed on your face? This is mine.

Sephora Collection Sleeping Mask in Pearl

I was so mad at myself for buying this when it arrived with the rest of my order. I had read reviews talking about what a great value it was at $4. And yes, Sephora is expensive, but I had something larger in mind.

  

I work in milliliters, and am still not sure how this is 8mL.

Now that I’ve complained, guess how many uses I got out of this? Five. That brings us down to 80 cents a use. I think that’s an acceptable value for a treat. I was wrong, Sephora. A little goes a long way with this sleeping mask.

I also genuinely enjoyed using it. It reminded me a lot like a sheet mask, but I didn’t feel like I was creating as much trash. I was able to goop enough on that I got a nice, cooling sensation for a few minutes. I do recommend giving yourself some buffer time between putting this on and going to bed. I didn’t have to wipe it off my face, but it did take a little while (10-15 minutes) to absorb enough that I didn’t feel like it would just disappear into my pillow.

The pearl “flavor” advertises that it “evens and helps minimize irregularities for skin tone that is even, fresher, and brighter”. I don’t really have skin irregularities (?) or worry about uneven skin tone, but I did think my skin felt moisturized in the morning. After five uses I’m also tempted to say that my skin looked “brighter”, but I am also in the middle of updating my skincare routine. Nicer skin could be due to a number of things at the moment.

Oh no, I guess that means I have to try this again when my routine settles down so that I can scientifically say if it actually works or not.

The next time I order from Sephora I’m going to buy every “flavor” of these. They may be replacing my sheet mask habit.

My Current Skincare Routine — March 2018

I posted about my basic routine back in November, before I bought some new products to try from The Ordinary. I’ve also started wearing sunscreen on my face every day. Even in the winter. Even when it snows.

It’s important to note that it took me two months to integrate these three products into my routine. People that are posting about how they starting using all these new products on their face one week are either lying to you and getting their sponsorship money, or have skin of steel that they don’t actually need to put thought into taking care of.

The Routine:

As always, go see a dermatologist, even if it’s just for a skin check and you don’t have anything that you’re concerned about.

AM
– Cleanse with konjac sponge and CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser
– Dickinson’s Hydrating Toner
I still want to try a different daily toner. I’m almost done with this one and am taking suggestions!
– CeraVe Moisturizing Cream
I’ve been using the same tub of this for a year and a half. It’s bottomless.
– Wait at least ten minutes.
My sunscreen doesn’t play well with my moisturizer. It goes streaky and gross if I don’t wait long enough to let it soak in.
– Eucerin Daily Hydration 30 SPF
It’s drying and leaves a white cast on my skin. I want to switch it out so badly, but I should wait until I settle on a new toner.

PM
– Cleanse with konjac sponge and CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser
– The Ordinary’s Granactive 2% Retinoid Emulsion every three days, at least 20 minutes after I’ve washed my face to allow my skin’s pH to return to normal.
– The Ordinary’s Glycolic Acid Toner also every three days, typically the day after I’ve used the retinoid.
– A mask once or twice a week. The bubble clay and these sheet masks are my current favorites. Clay or otherwise drying masks are used on my third day of the three day retinoid/glycolic acid cycle.
– The Ordinary’s Caffeine Solution
– CeraVe Moisturizing Cream

Further Tweaking:
I’d like to add some more hydration to my routine. I’ve been eyeing The Ordinary’s Buffet and Rose Hip Seed Oil.
I want to try new toners, even though the one I have now is totally fine.
I also desperately want a sunscreen that isn’t so dry and white.

I think I’m definitely on my way to having a scary intricate routine.
It’s a journey. Where are you on yours?