Drunk Elephant B-Hydra Intensive Hydration Gel

First things first: I did not buy this $50 moisturizer. I got a sample with my Sephora order.

Having said that, I was super excited to try some Drunk Elephant. Skincare nerds love Drunk Elephant.

This moisturizer is terrible.

The first thing I noticed was that it smells pretty strongly of alcohol, which I was not expecting from something that is supposed to moisturize my skin. I looked up the ingredients and they’re mostly the ‘good alcohols‘. That’s nice. I have no idea why it’s such a bad product now.

It’s a gel. Usually gel moisturizers work well with my skin, which tends to be oily. Gels tend to absorb fairly quickly and matte on me. This one left me shiny, and instantly sticky.

I stuck it out for about an hour. Drunk Elephant is a supposedly good brand. Some things need time to sink in. My poor winter skin started feeling drier and drier. I finally gave up on this being a nice experience and slathered my face in my normal Cerave.

And no, I didn’t notice that layering Cerave over this made it work any better. Save your money.

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Dermelect Microfacial Exfoliating Masque

Ipsy seems to have caught on to the fact that I’m into face masks. They sent me this one in my January bag. Normally I would do some research before buying and using a product, but I already have it, so on my face it goes.

The back of the tube says that the “MULTI-BRIGHTENING COMPLEX INSTANTLY RESTORES DULL, LACKLUSTER LOOKING SKIN TO LUMINOUS AND RADIANT!” Yes, the tube is shouting at me.

Here is my dull, lackluster skin:

Let’s see what miracles this masque can do for my face.
I dampened my skin, massaged and waited.

It was grittier than I expected. The ingredients listed on the tube are THD ascorbate (vitamin C, what is presumably ~brightening my skin~), kaolin (clay that sucks up oil), and coconut oil (the 12 minute wait is because we’re moisturizing here).

So what’s the grit? I had immediately thrown out the box this came in, so I had to pull the ingredients from ipsy’s website.

Water (Aqua), Kaolin, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Cetyl Alcohol,

Pumice

, PEG-40 Stearate, Glyceryl Stearate, PEG-100 Stearate, Butylene Glycol, Persea Gratissima (Avocado) Oil, C12-15 Alkyl Benzoate, Dimethicone, Titanium Dioxide,Lactic Acid, Tetrahexyldecyl Ascorbate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Salicylic Acid , Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Xanthan Gum, Disodium EDTA, Phenoxyethanol,Ethylhexylglycerin, Citrus Limon Peel Oil, Citrus Aurantium Dulcis Peel Oil, Citrus Aurantifolia Oil, Citrus Aurantium Bergamia Fruit Oil, Limonene, Linalool, Citral.

It’s more pumice than coconut oil. It’s not even a sugar scrub, which I rationalize as being “okay physical exfoliation” because the sugar eventually dissolves. It’s sand-based exfoliation. Baby rocks.

Did I scrape my skin off? Am I more radiant?

Nah, I’m okay. I’m a little less shiny and had to moisturize despite ipsy insisting it didn’t cause “uncomfy dryness”. I’ll use the tube, but do feel the need to shout into the internet void:

KEEP IT OUT OF YOUR EYES AND DON’T SCRUB TOO HARD.

Literal sand.